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| A mashing together of facial features... |
With the seizure-inducing rise in the popularity of EDM (Electronic Dance Music for those unhip to abbreviated music genres), mash-ups have been more prevalent than ever. Whether it's Girl Talk, Ludachrist, or a group of monsters at a graveyard smash, the recycling and mashing together of two or more tracks has created a genre all its own. Mashing became mainstream when the style of Run DMC played with Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" creating an entirely new sound, and introduced whole new world of music fans to the horrifying face of Steven Tyler.
As a multi-time listener of "Monster Mash" and one-time video watcher of a Girl Talk song, I couldn't be more qualified to create the perfect mash-up. But instead of mixing together two songs, I thought my lack of talents would be better suited to mashing together the lyrics of popular songs into the cover art for new fan fiction books based on my takeaway from a few songs.
RAPPERS DELIGHT:
I started off with a rather simple and unimaginative pun about the song that many consider the inaugural rap song. Most of the lyrics to this song are nonsense when looked at contextually, but they are also a great combination of sounds, syllables, alliteration, and whatever "up jump"-ing the boogie means. By looking at the novice-ly crafted cover art you would likely imagine the story of this song is all about a vastly asymmetrical man with strange hips learning to jump railroad tracks in clown shoes. And you'd be exactly right. After a tragic gift-wrapping-competition accident and steroid scandal at FAO Schwarz left young Wonder Mike with a much larger right leg and hip, he was stuck with a tough choice. He could resign himself to a life of being ridiculed for his lopsided appearance, or sell his "bodyguards, his two big cars that definitely ain't the wack, his Lincoln Continental and a sun roofed Cadillac" to pay for re-corrective leg and hip surgery. Before listing all his assets on craigslist, Wonder Mike decided to jump to the beat of the Funkadelic boogie "Hit It And Quit It". Much to Wonder Mike's delight, he was amazed at the hang-time of his jump. And he lived happily ever after as the greatest hopper to ever hop in the local train-hopping group The Sugarhill Gang.
VISIONS OF JOHANNA:
Cut to the mother folker of descriptive and random phrases, Bob Dylan. In "Visions of Johanna," he decides to sing a spattering of non-linear or logically feasible moments that remind him of Johanna, and it results in a classic tune. But really what they hell? Did he throw a handful of random adjectives and imagery at the page and call it poetry? Or are jelly-faced women really sitting around sneezing all day due to ironic Smuckers allergies? Anyways the visions I ended up with all looked terrifying. I decided Mona Lisa having the highway blues would translate to a painting of woman wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. The center of my picture was supposed to depict Johanna playing the harmonica, but what I accidentally drew was a hideous skeleton woman with disappearing legs biting into a brick. The ghost of electricity howling in the "bones of her face," was interpreted by me to mean a frumpy ghost that comes out of an electrical socket. And my "handful of rain" might as well change the lyric to "And Louise's disembodied hand tosses blue skittles, tempting you to defy it." None of this picture makes any sense, or is good in any way and in fact, the majority of it is horrifying, which is why I added what I apparently thought were believable blood drips. I've turned this song into an unrelated series of poorly constructed horror images, sounds similar to what I imagine American Horror Story is.
EMPIRE STATE OF MIND:
As you can already tell this cover art is a tale as old as time. An adolescent Jayson Z (this is his real full name right?), begins to feel certain changes to his body. Some extra hair here and there, a deepening voice, and the explosion of New York City items and icons growing out of his skull each time he lists one of the 99 problems he has in his life. It started off relatively normal with the growth of a Yankees hat (whose logo was clearly forgotten by the artist) and a street sign for State St. (the location of his described "stashbox"). But the trouble began with the Empire State Building flare-up. Suddenly, doorways and low ceilings became impossible for young Jayson to traverse. Depression soon set in for Mr. Z, as his reputation as a freak and pariah grew similarly isolated like his newfound hero the Elephant Man. One afternoon after agreeing with a colleagues complaint about more money typically equalling more problems, Jayson grew a troubling tombstone out of his head. The tombstone referenced reggae legend Bob Marley, whom Jayson's family tried explaining was born and buried in Jamaica, not New York rendering his skull growth more inexplicable. Tragically, this revelation blew Jayson Z's mind, and he was pronounced dead 13 seconds later.
SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE ft. SAMURAI MIKE:
A 60-foot tall middle linebacker by day, and a hyper-violent Samurai by night - stopping offenses and villains cold. He didn't come here looking for trouble, but he's sure to put an end to it. The graphic novel based on a Mike Singletary line from "Super Bowl Shuffle" will be available in paperback and hardcover this summer.
Non Mash-up Songs to Mash-up to:
- "Hit It and Quit It" - Funkadelic
- "Monster Mash" - Bobby "Boris" Pickett
- "Suicide Is Painless" - Johnny Mandel
- "The Difference Between Us" - The Dead Weather
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